There aren’t many things more sour than saying goodbye to the ones who make you happy. I have done it so many times before, and I will do it at least as many times.
Going for an exchange fills out your heart with colors, but the colors of hard, stone mosaic. Because every goodbye makes you a little bit colder, and after a while, you feel less and less. It becomes a normal thing to get someone and then lose them shortly after.
Like a train station, somehow. You’re sitting on a bench watching trains passing, and hundreds of people shortly enter your sight, only to disappear after a couple of seconds. Some of them stop by you and spend some time along your side, enjoying the time before their train arrives and the departure time comes.
One of those people that spent time by my side recently caught his train. Honestly, I really didn’t expect that parting with a friend would break me so hard, because I knew it was coming. He graduated, we were there, we hugged him proudly and wished him all the luck with his new job in another city. All as expected. Except that – all the feelings that I was holding inside boiled and burst on my cheeks.
You managed to take one more piece of me, and put one more little colorful stone in my mosaic of goodbyes from people I love. And I should thank you for it. Because those colors help me feel alive. They caress and they poke, they spike with loneliness and hug with warmth.
They make me see that I lived, and that I am a different person than before. Those pieces make me like who I am – because in myself, I see THEM, the people I love.